Tonight as I chug caffeine and literally hold my burning eyes open I am feeling oddly refreshed. I feel renewed in my purpose as a mom and ready to tackle trying days and sleepless nights. I feel honored and blessed to have 4 kids instead of overwhelmed and I am so grateful for this feeling.
Rewind 2 days and my husband walked in the door to see me sitting in the living room alone while the baby napped and the older three made a mess in the kitchen… I had put myself in mommy time out as I tried to get my emotions under control before I lashed out in frustration at the kids.
So what changed? I made a selfish decision or maybe I made a truly brilliant decision, I went out to dinner with my 2 dearest friends. I can not remember the last time I did something for pure fun that was not related to some event of had some other purpose. This was simply to renew each of us in our vocation as moms of young children. I met with two women who have little girls the exact same ages as mine, two women who I used to meet up with every week for play dates and the two women who I hardly see any more due to moves spreading us out and kids getting older.
We met up at a restaurant at 6:30 pm and we left at 11 pm when they closed. I sat and I talked and I listened. I complained and I supported. I encouraged and I was encouraged. But most of all I realized and I was reminded of why I am a stay at home mom, why I have 4 kids and why I love my life.
I came home to a frazzled husband with a wide awake baby and he never once complained. The kids whined when I left earlier that evening and were upset I would miss bedtime and I felt guilty. This morning the 3 year old clung extra tight to me and so did the baby and I wondered once again was that selfish of me? Was that night of fun worth the cost at home? But as I tackled the day with renewed energy and patience I knew in the end they benefited even more than I did. It was definitely more smart than selfish because my batteries were recharged and my spirit renewed and I was back on track to be the mom I wanted to be!
Every mom knows you must first put on your own oxygen mask in the event of an emergency so you can effectively help others but really are you doing it?
I’m not but from now on I am going to really, really try and you should too!