Tonight as I chug caffeine and literally hold my burning eyes open I am feeling oddly refreshed. I feel renewed in my purpose as a mom and ready to tackle trying days and sleepless nights. I feel honored and blessed to have 4 kids instead of overwhelmed and I am so grateful for this feeling.
Rewind 2 days and my husband walked in the door to see me sitting in the living room alone while the baby napped and the older three made a mess in the kitchen… I had put myself in mommy time out as I tried to get my emotions under control before I lashed out in frustration at the kids.
So what changed? I made a selfish decision or maybe I made a truly brilliant decision, I went out to dinner with my 2 dearest friends. I can not remember the last time I did something for pure fun that was not related to some event of had some other purpose. This was simply to renew each of us in our vocation as moms of young children. I met with two women who have little girls the exact same ages as mine, two women who I used to meet up with every week for play dates and the two women who I hardly see any more due to moves spreading us out and kids getting older.
We met up at a restaurant at 6:30 pm and we left at 11 pm when they closed. I sat and I talked and I listened. I complained and I supported. I encouraged and I was encouraged. But most of all I realized and I was reminded of why I am a stay at home mom, why I have 4 kids and why I love my life.
I came home to a frazzled husband with a wide awake baby and he never once complained. The kids whined when I left earlier that evening and were upset I would miss bedtime and I felt guilty. This morning the 3 year old clung extra tight to me and so did the baby and I wondered once again was that selfish of me? Was that night of fun worth the cost at home? But as I tackled the day with renewed energy and patience I knew in the end they benefited even more than I did. It was definitely more smart than selfish because my batteries were recharged and my spirit renewed and I was back on track to be the mom I wanted to be!
Every mom knows you must first put on your own oxygen mask in the event of an emergency so you can effectively help others but really are you doing it?
I’m not but from now on I am going to really, really try and you should too!
About Ellen Peppercorn
Love this Ellen! As a mom we tend to be negligent with our own needs and then get burnt out on meeting everyone else needs. Having time away makes for a better mommy and wife! Can’t wait to meet you!
I am so excited to meet you too!
I couldn’t agree more! Every time I do something for just me (and really it isn’t that often) I return with such a renewed sense of self and with more pep in my step! I KNOW I’m a better parent after having a break so moms shouldn’t feel guilty for some “me” time.
I find it so hard to do stuff for just me, but it is so worth it in the long run!
Ellen,
It’s so true. Sisterhood friendship can provide so much! It can really get us the breath of fresh air we need when we are in midst of providing for so many needs for so many others. Keep up the great work of motherhood!
I am so lucky to have such great friends in the exact same boat as me!
In my personal opinion, we as adults NEED to put ourselves and our well being before others, to an extent of course, because if we’re frazzled, stressed, and to the breaking point, we’re NO good for ourselves, let alone other people.
I’m glad you were ‘selfish’ and went ahead to do something for yourself. If only more people would do this more often, I think life could be happier for many
I don’t consider what you did selfish. That said everyone as a natural course takes care of themselves first. What is unnatural is putting someone else first. It takes effort everyday to meet everyone else’s needs before our own. As mothers as a matter of course when we truly love our children putting them first does come more naturally especially since the Lord designed it that we have to put their needs first when nursing,changing their diapers,etc. when they are little. The Lord made a way though. He says to renew ourselves in Him. We need to take the refreshment that comes form reading His Word and prayer and yes fellowship with others. That is not selfishness it’s how He made us!
Agreed Gina!